Unwinding Expectations

Can I teach you about expectations?

Expectations are a thing I was blown away by once I got to understanding what expectations are and how they totally have the possibility of hijacking my life.

When we say “Oh, I expected you to do this” we say it as though it were true thing, when nearly a 100% of the time we have not told the other person what our expectations are. Yeah. And therein lies the trap.

 So, what I’d love to do, is teach you about expectations, so you understand how they really work, how we behave in relationships and ultimately help you get your needs met better, like better within yourself and better in relationships.

Expectations equal anything and everything that should be done, should not be done, should be said, should not be said and should happen or should not happen, etc.

Anywhere that you use the word of should it’s likely you are talking about an expectation. Also you people say things like “Well everyone knows …” that is also a sign you are referring to an expectation.


  • Expectations are about you holding someone else responsible for something that you didn’t give them information about.
  • Expectations are largely invisible when met
  • The value of meeting expectations is usually neutral, but the cost of not meeting them is great. 
  • Instincts and Expectations
  • Getting your expectations met is going to take other people spending money, energy, and time on them.
  • Mostly people won’t meet your expectations unless they experienced themselves as dependent on you
  • Personal expectations VS social expectations
  • Cultural norms and why they are unhelpful and dangerous
  • Often the consequence of expectations not being met is broken connections and we talked about how important connections are in Episode 001 –  breaking them is painful.
  • What are “dog hair expectations” and “foxtail expectations”

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